The Snowman comes from Margaret Atwood’s cautionary tale of the future, Oryx and Crake. The Snowman is a tragic/comic hero eking out a marginal existence in a post apocalyptic world laid waste by genetic engineering run amok. The Snowman’s predicament is all more poignant since Crake, his best friend, created the super-virus that wiped out humankind, and Oryx, Crake’s girlfriend (also deceased) was sleeping with the Snowman, just before the super-virus escaped and spread uncontrollably.

The Snowman scavenges the flotsam and jetsom of consumer culture, menaced by genetically modified barnyard animals gone feral.

The Snowman in my story has hired a ghostwriter to write a ’secrets’ ebook which he offers for sale on his new website. The ebook portrays the Snowman as a self-made Internet millionaire and shrewd entrepreneur, along the lines of, I’ll tell you all the secrets of my rise to riches and fame online for only $49.99.

However, the Snowman has had a falling out with his ghost writer, and contrary to his advertised claims, knows virtually nothing about the Internet, or computers.

All of this is relayed to me on a call to my toll free number early one Tuesday morning. He rambles on at some length about previous webmasters he employed, which are not even worth going into details about, he tells me in a confidential tone. The crux of the matter, which the Snowman relates quite bold faced, and without embarrassment, is that he has neglected to keep a backup copy of his ebook on how to make a million and the only copy is on his website. And since he knows nothing about the Internet, FTP, or passwords, the only way he can obtain a copy of his own book is to purchase it from himself for $49.99 and download it after purchase.

And since money is tight, and although he has access to his father-in-laws’ credit card, the price of $49.99 seems a little steep, and he isn’t 100% sure that the credit card processing and download setup are working properly. So it is entirely possible that he, like some hapless customers, might pay $49.99 and not receive their Millionaire Secrets ebook. Could I possibly assist him in retrieving his ebook from the clutches of his website?

I calm his fears and reply, that yes I would be happy to assist. Hearing this, he brightens considerably and asks how much I would charge, which he is sure would be very modest, since we have been talking all this time and have really gotten to know each other so well. I reply it will cost $25, and look forward to 5 minutes work, which of course I don’t tell him.

The Snowman replies that $25 is too expensive for him right now, but he will keep it in mind.

Several weeks pass and sure enough the Snowman calls again, with an update. Instead of paying me $25 to retrieve his ebook, he has made nice with the ghostwriter, who has sent him a copy of the document in PDF format. Unfortunately though, it was sent to his Hotmail address, and he cannot understand how to transfer from Hotmail to his computer.

This is all explained in great detail and at great length. The Snowman wonders if he gives me access to his Hotmail account, can I access his account, download the Millionaire Secrets ebook, and send it to him?

Of course, I reply, and the cost will be, coincidentally, $25.  I offer some free advice, suggesting he read the Hotmail HELP section.

He seems pleased and goes on his way for more cutting edge adventures on the web.

Welcome!