See The Bitter Merchant and the Long Slow Slide Part 1
for the beginning of the tale.

A BUM call, in the popular vernacular is when a cellphone is in its holster, or in your back pocket, and is activated somehow, dials a number at random or from your address book, and broadcasts whatever you are doing to whoever it has randomly dialed.

Now the Bitter Merchant had a stunning trophy wife, who was also a nude model, and in frequent visits to his multi-million dollar penthouse condo, nude or topless pictures of his wife were accidentally/on purpose left lying out in plain sight. But despite all this, the Bitter Merchant was a frequent client of street prostitutes and escort services, and his frequent browsing of Escort services’ websites had let to marital dis-harmony on numerous occasions.

It was in just one of these occasions, where the Bitter Merchant was patronizing a street prostitute, when his cell phone activated and dialed his home number. His trophy wife, who spent a lot of time at home lounging in various stages of undress, answered the phone, and heard the entire lurid transaction, including his huffing and puffing and moaning under the skilled ministrations of a street prostitute. Followed by his terse thank you.

When he arrived home, she was livid and confronted him. Not to be caught short, he calmly told her he was helping a friend load boxes into their car, and hence the panting, and the terse thank you, which he claimed was not really him, but his friend thanking him for the help!